How To Write Best Friends to Lovers Romance - That Feels Realistic
Hi writerly friends!
I’m back this week with another romance writing guide. Next week we’ll be discussing how to write believable hate-to-love romance, so I thought it’d be a great warm-up to show you guys how to writer believe best-friend-to-lovers romance. This is obviously a steppingstone and acts as the middle ground between enemies and more-than-friends in hate-to-love romance, so as you might expect, you can’t have one without the other.
However, your characters don’t always have to start out hating each other, they can indeed go from friends to lovers in a single story. Funnily for us, and embarrassingly for your characters and readers, it’s not exactly a straight shot, no—it’s a pretty rocky ride from best friends to lovers and it can be a tricky-to-write trope.
It’s unsurprising that the characters will have a bumpy time getting from one side to the other, as one is decidedly platonic and the other is decidedly romantic, and the transition from friends to lovers can be tough to read, even tougher to write, and often employs tons of awkward exchanges and cringe-worthy moments.
So, how do you write best-friends-to-lovers romance that is realistic and believable to the reader?
Step 1: Embrace The Weirdness
As you might expect, writing best-friends-to-lovers romance stories is going to feel weird, because plot twist, going from best-friends to lovers is weird! Not unearthing any best kept secrets, her—everyone knows it’s a weird shift, especially if you’ve known each other since childhood. So, when writing this trope, don’t shy away from all the weirdness, awkwardness, and embarrassing, gross feelings that happen, because it’s completely natural and these feelings should be present in the story. In fact, the reader should be able to pick up on these feeling and feel weird about it too. Secondhand embarrassment is a thing, and it’s something we want our readers turning pages to get to a point in the story when everything makes sense again and the awkwardness has died down a bit.
However, don’t go so far as to make it unrealistic. Yes, at times the uncomfortableness of the transition should be almost palpable to the reader, but keep the balance between rising and falling tension so that readers stay on the edges of their seats and grit the teeth at all the right moments.
Step 2: Determine Whether the Love is Mutual or Unrequited?
Before we get into the story structure for this trope, ask yourself whether the love between your characters or if it’s unrequited. This is very important to how the story will play out and what choices your characters will make based on their emotions, especially towards the resolution. Both routes can be delicious and heart-wrenching in their own right but know which one you’re going to go with in your own writing, will make the process a lot easier.
Jonah Hauer-King as Laurie Lawerence and Maya Hawke as Jo March in Little Women (2017) Photo by PBS.
To make it easier to chose which path your story will take, I’m going to give you a couple of examples, the first being Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, and the second being Emma by Jane Austen, (and no, I didn’t just pick these two because they involve someone being gifted a piano, but man isn’t that romantic?)
In Little Women, Laurie’s love goes unreturned when Jo tells him she never saw him as more than a friend. This sends him to Europe to avoid his heart break. When he returns after falling for Jo’s sister, being rejected again, and being inspired to do something with his life, he asks Jo to marry him. She rejects him again and ends up marrying someone else, but this story is a prime example of a best-friends-to-lovers romance that took a turn when the love was unrequited.
On the flip side, Emma, by Jane Austen Emma is startled to realize after everything, she is the one who wants to marry Mr. Knightly. When she admits her foolishness for meddling in the romances of others, he proposes, and she accepts. This is a great example of friends who become lovers where the love is returned.
Step 3: Follow The Structure
Alright, now that we got that out of the way, let’s talk about the parts of the BFTL story structure (at least that’s the acronym I’m giving it because that’s just way to much to type every time, sorry, not sorry.)
Whether or not you go by the 3-Act Story Structure, every best-friends-to-lovers romance typically follows this basic format:
Foundation
Set-up
Aha moment
Conflict
Decision
Resolution
Foundation
The first part of the structure for this trope is the foundation, where we are introduced to all core story elements, characters, setting, premise and theme. Here, the reader will get to know what exactly the story they’re reading is.
Set-up
The second part of the structure is the set-up. This is where the meet cute would occur in romance, and for best-friends-turned-lovers romance, it is no different. Introduce the characters, their relationship at this point in the story, and begin laying the groundwork for the transition from best-friends to future lovers.
Click here to read my blog post for creating the perfect meet cute.
While your story might be set preceding or following the formation of your characters friendship, it is important to know how and when they became friends, because if they become lovers later on, this will be an important part in the evolution of their relationship.
Aha Moment
This part of the story is when the characters first realize they are in love with each other. If you chose to go with the unrequited love path, then here, they would learn that one likes the other and decide they don’t feel the same way in return. Consider what path you take for this part because it will really determine how the rest of the story plays out.
Does the one who is rejected continue pursuing their friend romantically, or do they give up on the first try? Does the one who only views their friend platonically have a change of heart and end up with their friend after all? Is it a messy back and forth that never really ends with the two friends becoming lovers? Is the timing ever right? These are all important questions to ask yourself during the aha moment, because it directly drives the following course of the story.
Conflict
Remember the questions I just asked you in the aha moment section? Those questions should be asked and answered in the conflict of the story. Here we see the true feelings come out and the characters will understand the scope of the situation before them.
Decision
Saoirse Ronan as Josephine "Jo" March and Timothée Chalamet as Theodore "Laurie" Laurence (2019). Photo by Wilson Webb .
In the decision part of the best-friends-to-lovers romance, readers will see what choice the characters make based on everything they know at this point and their emotions. They might decide to get together or break up as friends, for good. Everything that has happened has led to this moment and how they react will change the course of their friendship forever. If the love is unrequited, maybe they just stay friends, but it is likely things will be weird and they’ll have to go their separate ways, like Laurie and Jo in Little Women. Perhaps they do end up getting together and marrying with a happy ending such as Emma and Mr. Knightly in Emma.
Resolution
Where do your characters go from here? How does the friendship grow or die after the decisions are made? Is there room for growth as friends and lovers or have they done irreparable damage to a good thing? Unrequited love stories are especially juicy and heart-wrenching in the resolution.
And that’s it for my guide on how to write best-friends-to-lovers romance stories that are believable and realistic. What do you think of these types of stories? Did you like Little Women and Emma? Do you prefer writing mutual or unrequited love? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below, and as always, thanks for reading!