The Top 10 Worst Romance Tropes EVER
Hi readers and other bookish creatures!
This week wraps up our romantic February 2020 and with such a wonderfully romantic month, I’d like to throw a monkey wrench in everything by bringing the romance down just a notch (or two, or three). This week, in Bookish Things, we’re discussing the 10 Worst Romance Tropes EVER! And you better buckle up because this is going to be a spicy take, I can assure you. We’re spending a little time with my reader brain today, so the opinions, sass, and spice are in full force and my kind, communicative, editor brain will have to take a backseat for today. (Also, I’m hoping the pretty heading text will soften the blow for some of these. (Good luck, readers.)
We’re going to cover, in my opinion, the top 10 worst romance tropes but for this rant (and for the sake of saving time,) I am going to avoid the most common tropes such as cringey insta-love, the overdone love-triangle, and alpha-douches because 1) you probably already know all about them since they’re so overplayed, and 2) they’re sort of implied and any reader worth their salt would likely dislike these tropes. (Of course, I am not speaking for EVERY book out there, and there are always exceptions to the rule.) These tropes came up in some of my recent reads from last year and I really wish they hadn’t. I won’t be naming names, but if you know, you know.
Trigger warning: This blog post discusses difficult topics such as sex slaves, abusive relationships, manipulation, graphic virgin sex, rape/non-consensual sex, age gaps, and other dark topics often present in mainstream adult romance. If you are offended by these topics, please understand I am in no way advocating for these topics or their presence in fiction. I am only highlighting their cringe-y nature and giving my own opinion as to why they should be removed from future works. Also, this post contains mature language. Typically, I air on the side of omitting swears from my writing, but since this work is satirical in nature and is not meant to be taken seriously, I figured I would keep the personal touch.
Lust that just needs to calm the F down
Of course, in any adult romance novel, you’re going to find lust, and some scenes can get really steamy, really quickly. However, some writers really just need to take a step back and calm down when it comes to lust in their writing. It’s not always the long, obnoxiously lusty descriptions either—sometimes it’s the little things that really take me out of the story. For instance, if a character has to physically restrain himself from mounting another character, maybe there’s more going on than physical attraction, and it’s definitely not self-control. Or another one is when character emit a sexual response to a non-sexual event, such as various body parts growing hard when one character gets close to another. What the heck is even going on?
Slave fics - Slaves falling in love with their masters. (Really?!)
Yeah, I had to write that line, and you had to read it and now we’re both in this ugly situation together. Hooray for mutual awkwardness.
Believe me when I say I REALLY don’t want to have to explain this. But here we go.
If Stockholm syndrome in fiction is romantic, then nails scraping a chalkboard, the act of licking spiders, and stepping barefoot on broken glass are romantic too. I’m sorry that this is an unpopular opinion, except that I not sorry—like not even a little bit.
I totally understand the appeal for BDSM fiction, but what I really don’t get is the prominence of romance stories where the main character starts the story out as a slave and ends up becoming the love interest of their master. This trop can often be observed in BDSM fiction, but miss the mark —by a landslide, I might add by forgetting one of the biggest elements of good BDSM love stories, both in real life and in fiction, and that’s that the overall relationship must be built on a foundation of love and trust.
Stories where the slave falls in love with his/her master is just wrong on so many levels and it one of the reasons the BDSM community get such a bad rep. I find it so uncomfortable and pretty gross, honestly, when a character is treated as property and then falls in love with the character that treats them as said property. I seriously don’t think that’s the most obvious course of action in any given slave story.
Next time you find yourself reading or writing a story with this trope, ask yourself, “Should I be contributing to the complete inaccurate depiction of an entire community by writing/reading this?” If the answer is no (and it is) then just don’t do it.
Condescending pet names
I just love pet names—between family, friends, and especially romantic partners. One of my all time favorites (you guessed it) is when Patch calls Nora Angel in Becca Fitzpatrick’s Hush, Hush Saga. It’s a name that has layers of meaning and initially incites annoyance in Nora before they’re an actual couple.
However, I just cannot stand it when the love interests gives the main character an annoying pet name, just to be a douche. (notice that I spelled out “cannot” and that’s how you know these are genuine, spicy emotions I’m feeling, here.) Even though Patch calls Nora Angel, the name isn’t particularly, annoying or offensive to her or the reader and she eventually grows to love the name. I know writers tend to taunt readers with this trope because it instills intimidation and an unbalanced power dynamic in their MC’s romantic relationships, but it comes off as annoying, condescending, and downright rude. Well-adjusted people just don’t go around giving pet names to strangers just to piss them off.
Omitting the first kiss altogether
I really don’t understand why some writers chose to omit the first kiss from their romances when it’s a really important moment to any relationship, real or fictional. Whether or not I have to trudge through two whole books to get to the first kiss between the love interest and the MC, I want that kiss. I don’t care if you include 1, 10, or 100 kisses throughout the course of your novel, but you better include the first kiss, because if you don’t, I will find you, and it won’t be pretty. (Unlike your lovely romance novel that HAS the first kiss scene present.) 😊
Bloody, painful, virgin sex
Newsflash, uneducated, male writers, that’s not how female genitalia works. Just sayin’. Anyone with a vagina will tell you this trope is old, overplayed, and absolutely inaccurate. I’ll spare you the inaccurate, gory details, but when you’re writing virgin sex, remember that it doesn’t need to be a horror show. A hymen is not a sheet of flesh that needs to be broken through, like a damn fortress wall, so can we all agree to stop writing it that way. Let’s all just get a better understanding of basic human anatomy, shall we? What’s more is if the MC’s love interest has any human decency and regard for their partner’s pleasure, bloody, painful virgin sex should be negligible. It’s not romantic, it’s not accurate, and it’s not fun for either party involved, so just leave it out.
The naïve girl (stupid girl)
Just imagine me scrubbing my hands down my face as I write this one, because I am.
The trope that seems to be present in every single badly-written romance I’ve ever read is the one that takes place between a heterosexual paring of a man (that typically fits at least three of the tropes on this list) along with a woman who somehow is always described as Naïve. For whatever reason, many writers like to use the word, “Naïve” to excuse or explain away idiotic decision making in order to drive the plot forward. (Of course, they have to find something to move the plot forward and that’s obviously where the alpha douche comes in to save our MC from the shit-show she’s gotten herself into. God forbid, a woman thinks for herself.)
Why do we keep calling characters like this, Naïve? The word Naïve refers to someone who lacks experience or wisdom and is not synonymous with being a fucking idiot. It’s absolutely possible to write a romance story with a woman who has at least half a brain. Additionally, we’ve been using the word Naïve for so long, we’ve forgotten the proper context of it and truthfully, at this point it seems like it would be a refreshing take on the whole trope if writers were to start using correctly.
The word, my reader friends, is STUPID. She is stupid. If she has screwed up her life so badly and requires the aid of a bumbling brute of a man to save her from her own actions, she is stupid. I’m not sorry, I don’t take it back, and I don’t care what you have to say in response, it’s just stupid.*Mic drop* 🎤
Okay, I’m picking the mic back up, because this list isn’t over. Oh no, far from it, in fact. Oof. Let’s just keep it moving, shall we?
Please go get help if you do this one
Piggybacking on the trope of slave fics (*shudders*) so many writers like to include sexy assaults in their writing. I am only going to say this once, so please listen up:
blurring the line of consent IS NOT OKAY AND NEVER SHOULD IT BE CONSIDERED SEXY.
Like ever. Some people think it’s okay, and I seriously worry for them. All the time in romance, I see sayings like “He’s the kind of guy who takes what he wants” or “He doesn’t take no for an answer.” You know what? These sayings sound exactly like the kind of thing a rapist would say.
I’ve heard that some writers excuse themselves for writing characters like this, by saying that they feel ashamed of their desires and by funneling them into their characters, they rid themselves of the shame and fault. However, this type of writing only further perpetuates toxic stereotypes and extends the cycle of shame for future generations. Let’s put it out of our misery already, okay?
Also, (and I am going to blow some of y’all’s minds right now by saying this) what if I told you it is in fact, possible to write a steamy, believable romance scene with an assertive partner, without them being a predator. Huh? Huh? I know it sounds tricky—that’s because it is. But any good writing is tricky and what any good writer will tell you is that cutting corners is not the way to go. If you want your writing to be good, don’t write shitty love scenes between a helpless protagonist and a predator. Just take the time to do it right. And if you’re a proponent of this trope, please just do us all a favor and see therapy instead.
Redeeming the abuser
Proponents: “Okay, look, I know he raped/ abused/ assaulted /manipulated her, but trust me it all works out in the end and he really makes up for it.”
Me and literally everyone else: “What the hell?”
I don’t understand people like this. I mean, you do hear what you’re saying, right? Like, the words coming out of your mouth aren’t an accident. I know when it comes to fiction, we’re allowed to give way to fantasy, but I genuinely want to know who is fantasizing about this. (On second thought, keep them far, far away. Thanks.)
Of course, I am all for abusers bettering themselves and becoming good people, but can they please get the help they need, away from their victims? Calling back to the previous item on this list, therapy works wonders and I totally support you, but please just work on yourself in a different city, zip code, and especially a different book than your victim.
I’m just really tired of this cliché and it makes my stomach turn when I continue to see it in 2020. The reason this, and most of the other tropes on this list are just awful and should be done away with is because they are sending really unhealthy messages to impressionable, young readers.
Age gaps in supernatural romances
I totally get having age gaps in romance—heck, it’s a part of real-life romances as well. YouTubers Jenna Marbles and Julien Solomita are like seven years apart. My own mother and father have like six years between them. And some age gaps (although a bit unwieldy) can span 10-20 years, as long as everyone is of age, then it’s all above board.
But what I don’t get and really don’t like are the age gaps that tend to happen in supernatural romances, where the love interest is hundreds of thousands of years older than the main character. Twilight much? I mean, I just don’t understand what an eighteen-year-old girl would have in common with a 60-thousand-year-old dude. Like, let him go, hon, you’re young, vibrant, and fresh, and he’s ancient.
I’m 23 and even I look at eighteen-year-olds like they’re babies. Eww. How does some old and crusty ancient dude look at a barely legal woman and think, “she gets me”? I think you mean, she get’s you hard. Besides, what would she want with the old dude anyways? What could the two possibly have in common together? Oh? None of that matters because he’s somehow super hot and super rich and common ground and personality have no meaning anyways? Well, why didn’t you say so? All good! 👍
No idea who the love interest actually is
Lightening things up for the end, here I’d like to talk about another bad romance trope and that’s when I have no clue who the love interest even is. If I am a hundred pages in and I don’t even know who the MC’s love interest is, and it’s a romance novel, we’re going to have some issues. Even harem romances give us some idea of who the MC’s got their eyes on. I just can’t get on board with a character who has been in love with this guy, and then has sudden, compelling sexual attraction to the next guy, and then realizes this girl is flirting with her, and then this other guy out of the blue, ends up proposing to her. Like, what???
Basically, what happens here is too many potential love interests are introduced and the lines become blurred. It’s okay to have love triangles (that’s a rant for another day so for now, let’s assume the love triangles are well-written) but we have to (going with the metaphor) clearly see the sides of the triangle. I want to be able to clearly and easily understand who is in love with who and what is happening, even when the characters don’t.
Additionally, if I don’t care who the love interest is, then you might as well just give up on writing romance. Readers care about ships because they pick up on chemistry between the characters, but if they’re not vibing then it means your characters are boring and one-dimensional, and not romantic (which if you asked me, sort of defeats the purpose!)
How are writers supposed to write chemistry, we all failed that class, yeah? Please believe me when I say good chemistry can be done, and I don’t mean the science-y kind (although that’s is pretty fun too!) It takes time to hone your writing skill and gain enough experience to effectively write compelling romance. Your first book will never be your best, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn and grow throughout the writing process. All snark aside, I truly do think good writing is possible, and it can and should be done without these awful romance tropes.
Whew! *wipes forehead* Somehow, we made it through that list. Of course, this is all meant to poke fun at some of the cringiest romance tropes in all of fiction. (And highlight problematic ones too, obvi) and I mean no harm to anyone reading this. This is all meant to be light-hearted and funny and in jest. For most of these, if you do them, I don’t think you’re a bad person—just a bad writer! 😉 (Just kidding, calm down. Jeez.)
But all of these cringy romance tropes are the worst and are definitely overplayed. I think we should start ridding our writing of them in order to exterminate them forever. Trust me, we have enough to last us a lifetime (or two).
What did you think of this list? Do you agree with any of the items? What do you think is the absolute worst romance trope ever? Do you like any of these tropes—be careful admitting this because I’ll come for you in the comments! (Again kidding, maybe.) Let me know down below and as always, thanks for reading.