How To Write Best Friends to Lovers Romance - That Feels Realistic
Hi writerly friends!
I’m back this week with another romance writing guide. Next week we’ll be discussing how to write believable hate-to-love romance, so I thought it’d be a great warm-up to show you guys how to writer believe best-friend-to-lovers romance. This is obviously a steppingstone and acts as the middle ground between enemies and more-than-friends in hate-to-love romance, so as you might expect, you can’t have one without the other.
However, your characters don’t always have to start out hating each other, they can indeed go from friends to lovers in a single story. Funnily for us, and embarrassingly for your characters and readers, it’s not exactly a straight shot, no—it’s a pretty rocky ride from best friends to lovers and it can be a tricky-to-write trope.
It’s unsurprising that the characters will have a bumpy time getting from one side to the other, as one is decidedly platonic and the other is decidedly romantic, and the transition from friends to lovers can be tough to read, even tougher to write, and often employs tons of awkward exchanges and cringe-worthy moments.
So, how do you write best-friends-to-lovers romance that is realistic and believable to the reader?
Step 1: Embrace The Weirdness
As you might expect, writing best-friends-to-lovers romance stories is going to feel weird, because plot twist, going from best-friends to lovers is weird! Not unearthing any best kept secrets, her—everyone knows it’s a weird shift, especially if you’ve known each other since childhood. So, when writing this trope, don’t shy away from all the weirdness, awkwardness, and embarrassing, gross feelings that happen, because it’s completely natural and these feelings should be present in the story. In fact, the reader should be able to pick up on these feeling and feel weird about it too. Secondhand embarrassment is a thing, and it’s something we want our readers turning pages to get to a point in the story when everything makes sense again and the awkwardness has died down a bit.
However, don’t go so far as to make it unrealistic. Yes, at times the uncomfortableness of the transition should be almost palpable to the reader, but keep the balance between rising and falling tension so that readers stay on the edges of their seats and grit the teeth at all the right moments.
Step 2: Determine Whether the Love is Mutual or Unrequited?
Before we get into the story structure for this trope, ask yourself whether the love between your characters or if it’s unrequited. This is very important to how the story will play out and what choices your characters will make based on their emotions, especially towards the resolution. Both routes can be delicious and heart-wrenching in their own right but know which one you’re going to go with in your own writing, will make the process a lot easier.
Jonah Hauer-King as Laurie Lawerence and Maya Hawke as Jo March in Little Women (2017) Photo by PBS.
To make it easier to chose which path your story will take, I’m going to give you a couple of examples, the first being Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, and the second being Emma by Jane Austen, (and no, I didn’t just pick these two because they involve someone being gifted a piano, but man isn’t that romantic?)
In Little Women, Laurie’s love goes unreturned when Jo tells him she never saw him as more than a friend. This sends him to Europe to avoid his heart break. When he returns after falling for Jo’s sister, being rejected again, and being inspired to do something with his life, he asks Jo to marry him. She rejects him again and ends up marrying someone else, but this story is a prime example of a best-friends-to-lovers romance that took a turn when the love was unrequited.
On the flip side, Emma, by Jane Austen Emma is startled to realize after everything, she is the one who wants to marry Mr. Knightly. When she admits her foolishness for meddling in the romances of others, he proposes, and she accepts. This is a great example of friends who become lovers where the love is returned.
Step 3: Follow The Structure
Alright, now that we got that out of the way, let’s talk about the parts of the BFTL story structure (at least that’s the acronym I’m giving it because that’s just way to much to type every time, sorry, not sorry.)
Whether or not you go by the 3-Act Story Structure, every best-friends-to-lovers romance typically follows this basic format:
Foundation
Set-up
Aha moment
Conflict
Decision
Resolution
Foundation
The first part of the structure for this trope is the foundation, where we are introduced to all core story elements, characters, setting, premise and theme. Here, the reader will get to know what exactly the story they’re reading is.
Set-up
The second part of the structure is the set-up. This is where the meet cute would occur in romance, and for best-friends-turned-lovers romance, it is no different. Introduce the characters, their relationship at this point in the story, and begin laying the groundwork for the transition from best-friends to future lovers.
Click here to read my blog post for creating the perfect meet cute.
While your story might be set preceding or following the formation of your characters friendship, it is important to know how and when they became friends, because if they become lovers later on, this will be an important part in the evolution of their relationship.
Aha Moment
This part of the story is when the characters first realize they are in love with each other. If you chose to go with the unrequited love path, then here, they would learn that one likes the other and decide they don’t feel the same way in return. Consider what path you take for this part because it will really determine how the rest of the story plays out.
Does the one who is rejected continue pursuing their friend romantically, or do they give up on the first try? Does the one who only views their friend platonically have a change of heart and end up with their friend after all? Is it a messy back and forth that never really ends with the two friends becoming lovers? Is the timing ever right? These are all important questions to ask yourself during the aha moment, because it directly drives the following course of the story.
Conflict
Remember the questions I just asked you in the aha moment section? Those questions should be asked and answered in the conflict of the story. Here we see the true feelings come out and the characters will understand the scope of the situation before them.
Decision
Saoirse Ronan as Josephine "Jo" March and Timothée Chalamet as Theodore "Laurie" Laurence (2019). Photo by Wilson Webb .
In the decision part of the best-friends-to-lovers romance, readers will see what choice the characters make based on everything they know at this point and their emotions. They might decide to get together or break up as friends, for good. Everything that has happened has led to this moment and how they react will change the course of their friendship forever. If the love is unrequited, maybe they just stay friends, but it is likely things will be weird and they’ll have to go their separate ways, like Laurie and Jo in Little Women. Perhaps they do end up getting together and marrying with a happy ending such as Emma and Mr. Knightly in Emma.
Resolution
Where do your characters go from here? How does the friendship grow or die after the decisions are made? Is there room for growth as friends and lovers or have they done irreparable damage to a good thing? Unrequited love stories are especially juicy and heart-wrenching in the resolution.
And that’s it for my guide on how to write best-friends-to-lovers romance stories that are believable and realistic. What do you think of these types of stories? Did you like Little Women and Emma? Do you prefer writing mutual or unrequited love? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below, and as always, thanks for reading!
Further reading:
—Payton
How To Write The Perfect Meet Cute
Glen Powell as Charlie Young and Zoey Deutch as Harper in Set It Up. Gif by Payton Hayes.
Hello, writerly friends!
Today, we’re discussing the meet cute. What the heck even is a meet cute anyways? Well, according to Google, is an amusing or charming first encounter between two characters that leads to the development of a romantic relationship between them.
Of course, the way you do the meet cute is completely and totally up to you—it can be cute, funny, or disastrous and comical. How you do a meet cute is completely subjective and can be created in a number of ways, but today I am going to show you how to make a meet cute even cuter—like the cutest it could possibly be.
When the reader sees the meeting coming, characters do not
While you can craft a meet cute where both the reader and characters do not see it coming, I think it’s extra interesting when the reader does, because it’s like this little secret between the writer and the reader. I really love meet cutes that do this. It’s like the sense of rising dread you get when you’re reading parts of a story with building tension—except that it’s a good kind of dread because you want the characters to end up meeting. The reader knows something good will come out of this chance encounter, only they know it’s coming, and the characters do not.
Flinn is surprised when Rapunzel hits him with a frying pan during Disney’s Tangled’s meet cute (2010).
A great example of this kind of meet cute is in Disney’s Tangled, when Flynn Rider is running from the law and seeks refuge in Rapunzel’s conveniently hidden tower. We already know Rapunzel is inside and he definitely climbed up the wrong tower. The scene that follows does not disappoint, when Rapunzel smacks him in the face with a frying pan for climbing through her window. I would consider this a comical meet cute, but it works extra well because the viewer knows what will happen before the characters and it builds for extra spicy first meeting.
Joe Bradley wakes a sleeping Princess Ann in Roman Holiday (1953).
Another example of a meet cute where the viewer/reader knows of the meeting before the characters actually meet is Roman Holiday, when Princess Ann shirks her royal responsibilities to see Rome for herself and eventually ends up falling asleep on a street. When the scene shifts to Gregory Peck playing cards with the guys, viewers just know the two are going to meet. After his night out, we see him walking down the same street Ann has fallen asleep on and we’re already anticipating their meeting.
Milo Ventimiglia as Jess Mariano and Alexis Bledel as Rory Gilmore in Gilmore Girls (2000).
Another example of a meet cute where the characters don’t know they’ll be meeting it is in Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 5. Not only does this episode include Jess' first appearance, but it's also the first episode that Rory and he meet. He steals her copy of Allen Ginsberg's "Howl," only to return it to her later in the episode with notes in the margins because Ginsberg is love, you guys. Ah, Jess Mariano — you book thieving-and-annotating bad boy. When Jess swipes Howl from Rory’s room during that ill-fated dinner hosted by Lorelai, and then returns it filled with margin notes, Rory was definitely impressed. (And so were we.) This scene effectively sets up the characters before they even know each other, themselves and shows us that there’s more than meets the eye, both for the mischievous Jess and their tumultuous relationship down the line.
This kind of meet cute makes the reader feel smarter because they know something the characters don’t. This is why it feels like a special little secret between the reader and the writer because the reader feels like he or she has already figured the story out. This is especially effective if you have plot twists and turns later on in the story, because the ground work for the surprises will already be laid out for you.
Characters don’t know they’ll be seeing a lot of each other
Piggybacking on the idea that the characters don’t know they’ll end up together, another meet cute that works really well in many stories is when the characters don’t know they’ll be seeing a lot of each other and/or aren’t too thrilled about it. This is especially fun for awkward situations where the character thinks “oh well, I’ll never see them again anyways,” and then come to find out that they will be seeing them again, and a lot more at that. Awkward is cute, writers.
Gugu Mbatha-Raw as Dido Elizabeth Belle and Sam Reid as John Davinière in Belle.
Pro tip: a sense of awkwardness or secondhand embarrassment is a fantastic feeling to give the reader. It’s as strong as , if not stronger than fear or desire, because its such a vulnerable emotion and it’s one we go out of our way to avoid. If you can invoke this in your reader, then congratulations, you’ve effectively written something that makes people feel.
A great example of this type of meet cute is in the movie Belle, when Dido and John run into each other on her late-night walk. She is startled at first when she finds that he actually came bringing news for her uncle and even more so when she discovers her uncle is John’s tutor and they’ll be seeing a lot more of each other.
Another example of this type of meet cute is in Jane Eyre when Jane first meets Mr. Rochester, he doesn’t tell her who he is, but later when she returns home, she recognizes his dog and realizes the true identity of the man she’d met on the road, earlier that day.
This kind of meet cute is really great because not only does it introduce a whole new level of awkward! but it also allows us to get to know the characters before they know each other and makes their relationship down the road, a lot cuter.
Irony, or something happening that would never happen later in the story
Megan Follows as Anne Shirley and Jonathan Crombie as Gilbert Blythe in Anne of Green Gables (1985).
This is probably one of the most powerful, yet hard to pull off versions of the meet cute, but if you can nail it, it can prove for a really effective first meeting and adds dept to the relationship later. Using irony in your meet cute makes the meeting 100x better because when these two characters are in love some day and they look back on their relationship later, it will be so funny to look back and think about how ironic their first encounter really was.
One great example of the use of irony in a meet cute is in Anne of Green Gables when Anne Shirley breaks Gilbert Blythe’s slate over his head out of temper when he teases her repeatedly. This was a very effective and ironic meet cute because the two characters would never behave in such a way after they’d gotten together but it really makes for a memorable first meeting.
“I've loved you ever since that day you broke your slate over my head in school." Oh Gil❤️
The second meeting is even more awkward
Okay, the only thing better than making your reader feel the palpable awkwardness is making them feel it twice! (Or three times if you’re gutsy enough!) This kind of meet cute is incredibly effective, especially if you tie it in with the first two where 1) only the reader knows they will meet and 2) they don’t know they’ll run into each other a lot more following the first meeting. This makes for a really, really strong meet cute where the characters and the reader are almost swimming the awkward emotions and the only way to move past it is to keep reading and see how it plays out.
The first meeting happens and once it’s over and done, you can bring it back around for the second meeting which is filled to the brim with potential for even more awkwardness, shyness, embarrassment and dramatic meet cute goodness!
An example of this meet cute is in Downton Abbey when Mary Talbot and Matthew Crawley meet for the first time, she walks in on Matthew saying some offhanded things to his mother. He is talking about how he will likely be shoved into an arranged marriage with one of the Talbot daughters since their parents had heard he was a bachelor. She says she hopes she isn’t interrupting anything but of course, that proves to be the case when they meet again later and its super awkward.
Callback to the meet cute
Megan Follows as Anne Shirley and Jonathan Crombie as Gilbert Blythe in Anne of Green Gables (1985).
All of these are great ways to effectively nail the meet cute for your characters, but you get bonus points for bringing it back up later on in the story. It’s really fun to see the characters in love reflecting on their embarrassing first meeting and makes for a great treat for the reader. A callback is a really effective literary device where something happens in the beginning of the story and is later referenced towards the end of the story in another context, essentially calling it back to the reader’s memory.
Audrey Hepburn as Princess Ann and Gregory Peck as Joe Bradley in Roman Holiday (1953).
Some particularly cute examples of this callback to the meet cute is in Anne of Green Gables when Gil calls her Carrot, endearingly, in Roman Holiday when Princess Ann says “So happy, Mister Bradley,” in reference to her muttering “So happy” in her sleep on the street, and in Jane Eyre when Mr. Rochester says, “You always were a witch” to Jane in reference to their very first meeting when he’d said “Get away from me, witch!”
These are just a few really well-done meet cutes and you’ll find it’s always the little things that make these meeting iconic, memorable, and downright adorable.
That’s it for the secrets to the perfect meet cute. Try using them all and let me know what you think. Do you prefer to use one version over another or do you like using them together? Do you ever call back to your meet cutes? What is the most important element of a meet cute? And what are some of your favorite meet cutes? Let me know in the comments below!
Further reading:
Thumbnail photo by Natalie.
—Payton
Classic Romance Reading Challenge for February 2020
If you’re new, thanks for dropping by and if you’ve been around for a minute, this month, we’re talking about romance, because it’s February and most people associate romance with February (even though I know Valentine’s day is just an excuse to eat chocolate— but hey I’m not complaining, I love chocolate and I’ll shamelessly eat it whenever I can.)
I digress. Today, in the bookish things’ category, I am giving you guys a February Romance Reading Challenge. It’s very much like Booktober, where the bookish community participates in various thriller, horror, and downright creepy reading challenges to get in the Halloween holiday spirit. However, this reading challenge comes with a twist: classics. In this reading challenge, we’re going to be reading classic romances. Not only will we start the year of strong with some of the well-known classics but will be in the mushy mood all month! Let’s get reading!
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Jane Eyre, a young orphan under the care of her cruel, wealthy aunt attends the Lowood school where her life is less than idyllic. She studies there for years before taking a governess position at a manor called Thornfield, where she teaches a lively French girl named Adele. There, she meets a dark, impassioned man, named Mr. Rochester, with whom she finds herself secretly falling in love with. However, this classic romance transcends melodrama to portray a woman’s passionate search for a wider and richer life than that which Victorian society traditionally allowed.
Click here to view Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte on Amazon
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
I could go on and on for days about Austen’s Writing and she definitely has the novels to support that loving rant, but I’ll save you guys the sifting and just say that if you’re going to read Jane Austen, why not read her quintessential romance novel, Pride and Prejudice. It has all the elements of an amazing romance novel and is one of, if not the greatest romance novel of all time. It’s a witty comedy of manners that features splendidly civilized sparring between the proud Mr. Darcy and the prejudiced Elizabeth Bennet as they play out their spirited courtship in a series of eighteenth-century drawing-room intrigues.
Click here to view Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen on Amazon
Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote
An American classic that inspired one of the most influential movies of all time, Breakfast at Tiffany’s is a classic romance that opens with the unnamed narrator meeting for the first time, Holly Golightly. The two are both tenants of an apartment building on Manhattan’s upper, east side. As the story progresses, the reader learns more and more about Holly and the relationship between her and the narrator as he recounts fondly their memories and finds himself quite enamored with her curious lifestyle. She, a country girl turned New York Café Society, works as an expensive escort (not prostitute) and hopes to marry one of the wealthy men she accompanies one day.
Click here to view Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote on Amazon
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Another novel from the other Bronte sister, this wild, passionate romance story of the intense and almost obsessive love between Catherine Earnshaw and Heathcliff, a foundling adopted by Catherine’s father continues to strike readers today. The story is one of, if not perhaps the most haunting and tormented love stories ever written and tells the tale of the troubled orphan, Heathcliff and his doomed love for Catherine.
Click here to view Wurthering Heights by Emily Bronte on Amazon
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
What list would be complete without a little Shakespeare and especially, his most famous story, Romeo and Juliet. Though anyone who has actually read it will tell you that the story doesn’t have a particularly happy ending (in fact, its particularly unhappy, if you ask me) the story is a classic romantic tale that showcases one of the most important questions humanity has ever faced, and that is: how far will one go for love? Elizabeth Eliot said, “There is nothing worth living for, unless it is worth dying for.” which eloquently and succinctly describes Romeo and Juliet.
Click here to view Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare on Amazon
Try reading these in order of most romantic to least romantic to start the month out with a really romantic read and finish it out on a little reader heartbreak. Or, read least to most romantic to end February with a happy ending.
What do you think of my February 2020 Classic Romance Reading Challenge? Have you read any of these stories before? Which of these five is your favorite and which is your least favorite? For me personally, I really enjoyed Pride and Prejudice and I look forward to rereading it this month, however I’d say Wuthering Heights makes number 5 on my list. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!