Hi readers and writerly friends!

This week in Freelancing, Breyonna Jordan is taking over the blog to tell you all about info-dumping in science-fiction and fantasy novels! Leave her a comment and check out her website and other socials!

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Breyonna Jordan loves exploring new frontiers—underground cities, mythical kingdoms, and expansive space stations, to be exact. As a developmental editor, she relishes every opportunity to help world-builders improve their works and learn more about the wonderful world of writing. She enjoys novels that are fresh, far-reaching, and fun and she can’t wait to see your next book on her TBR list.

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Breyonna Jordan is a developmental editor who specializes in science-fiction and fantasy.

What is info-dumping? 

When writing sci-fi or fantasy, there’s a steep curve on how much the audience needs to know—a world of a curve in fact.

You may have pages and pages of elaborate world histories that readers must be filled in on—the current and past ruling monarchs, failed (or successful) uprisings, how natural resources became so scarce in this particular region, or why a military state exists in this country, but not in the surrounding lands. 

Alternatively, you may feel the need to include pages of small details concerning the settings and characters your readers are exploring. While it’s important to include specific details in your writing—the reader can’t possibly know that the night sky features four moons unless you convey these details—oftentimes, the excess exposition can be overwhelming to readers. 

This info-dumping can be a pervasive problem in fiction, maybe even the problem that stops you from finding an awesome agent or from obtaining a following on Amazon.

So, below I’ve offered some tips for spotting info-dumping, reasons for and the potential consequences of info-dumping, as well as several tips for avoiding the info-dump. 

How do you identify info-dumping in your manuscript?

A section of your work may contain info-dumping if you find: 

• you are skipping lines while reading (Brotzel 2020),

• the paragraphs are very long,

• there is little action and conflict occurring,

• your voice (and not your characters) has slipped in,

• that it looks like it was copied directly from your outline

To help you get a better idea of what excessive exposition can look like, here are two examples of info-dumping from the first chapter of a sci-fantasy manuscript I worked on: 

“Hawk was guarding the entrance to the cave while Beetle went for the treasure. These were not their real names of course but code-names given to them by their commander (now deceased) to hide their true identities from commoners who may begin asking questions. Very few people in the world knew their true names and survived to speak it. Hawk and Beetle knew each other’s true names but had sworn to secrecy. They were the youngest people on their team. Beetle was seventeen with silver hair and had a talent for tracking. Hawk was twenty-one with brown hair which he usually wore under a white bandana. He was well-mannered and apart from his occupation in burglary was an honest rule-follower. Beetle and Hawk had known each other since they were children and were as close as brothers.”

“It is one of the greatest treasures in the entire world of Forest #7. This was thought only to have existed in legend and theological transcripts. This Staff was powered by the Life Twig, a mystic and ancient amulet said to contain the soul of Wind Witch, a witch of light with limitless powers.”

Why do writers info-dump and what impacts does info-dumping have on their manuscripts?

As a developmental editor who works primarily with sci-fi and fantasy writers, I’ve seen that info-dumping can be especially difficult for these authors to avoid because their stories often require a lot of background knowledge and world-building to make sense. 

In space operas, for example, there may be multiple species and planetary empires with complex histories to keep track of. In expansive epic fantasies, multiple POV characters may share the stage, each with their own unique backstory, tone, and voice.

Here are some other reasons why world-builders info-dump:

• they have too many characters, preventing them from successfully integrating various traits,

• they want to emphasize character backstories as a driver of motivation,

• their piece lacks conflict or plot, using exposition to fill up pages instead, 

• they are unsure of the readers ability to understand character goals, motivations, or actions without further explanation,

• they want to share information that they’ve researched (Brotzel 2020),

• they want readers to be able to visualize their worlds the way they see them

A Hobbit house with wood stacked out front. Photo by Jeff Finley.

Though these are important considerations, info-dumping often does more harm than good. Most readers don’t want to learn about characters and settings via pages of exposition and backstory. Likewise, lengthy descriptions:

• distract readers from story and theme, 

• encourage the use of irrelevant details,

• make your writing more confusing by hiding key details,

• decrease dramatic tension by boring the reader,

• slow the pacing and immediacy of writing,

• prevent you from learning to masterfully handle characterization and description 

Think back to the examples listed above. Can you see how info-dumping can slow the pace from a sprint to a crawl? Can you spot all the irrelevant details that detract from the reader's experience? Do you see the impact of info-dumping on the author’s ability to effectively characterize and immerse the reader in the scene?

Info-dumping is a significant issue in many manuscripts. Often, it’s what divides the first drafts from fifth drafts, a larger audience from a smaller one, a published piece from the slush pile. 

What techniques can be used to mitigate info-dumping?

That said, below are three practical tips to help you avoid and resolve info-dumping in your science-fiction and fantasy works: 

1. Keep focus on the most important details. You can incorporate further information as the story develops. This will allow readers to remain engrossed in your world without overwhelming them. It will also help you maintain a robust setting in which there’s something new for readers to explore each time the character visits. 

2. Weave details between conflict, action, and dialogue (Miller 2014). This will allow the reader to absorb knowledge about your world without losing interest or becoming confused. An expansive galactic battle presents the perfect opportunity to deftly note the tensions between races via character dialogue and behavior. A sword fighting lesson can easily showcase new technology (Dune anyone?). A conversation about floral arrangements for a wedding can subtlysubtely convey exposition. Just make sure to keep the dialogue conversational and realistic. 

3. Allow the reader to be confused sometimes. Most sci-fi and fantasy readers expect to be a bit perplexed by new worlds in the earliest chapters. They understand that they don’t know anything, and thus expect not to learn everything at once. Try not to worry too much about scaring them off with new vocabulary and settings. They can pick up on context clues and make inferences as the story progresses. handle it. If you’re still concerned about the amount of invented terminology and definitions, consider adding a glossary to the back matter of the book instead. 

Of course, this all raises the question…

Is it ever okay to info-dump? 

You might think to yourself, “I want to stop info-dumping, but it’s so difficult to write my novel without having to backtrack constantly to introduce why this policy exists, or why this seemingly obvious solution won’t end the Faerie-Werewolf War.” 

If you’re a discovery writer, it might be downright impossible to keep track of all these details without directly conveying them in text which is why I encourage you to do exactly that. 

Dump all of your histories into the novel without restraint. Pause a climactic scene to spend pages exploring why starving miners can’t eat forest fruit or how this life-saving magical ritual was lost due to debauchery in the forbidden library halls. 

Write it all down…

Foggy woods illuminated by a soft, warm light. Photo by Johannes Plenio.

But be prepared to edit it down in the second, third, or even fourth drafts. 

Important information may belong in your manuscript, but info-dumps should be weeded out of your final draft as much as possible. 

Additionally, as I mention often, I am a firm disbeliever in the power and existence of writing rules. There are novels I love that use info-dumping liberally and even intentionally (re: Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy by Douglas Adams). Most classics use exposition heavily as well and they remain beloved by fans old and new. 

However, what works for one author may not work for everyone and modern trends in reader/ publisher-preference regard info-dumping as problematic. Heavy reliance on exposition is also connected to other developmental problems, such as low dramatic tension and poor characterization. 

If you are intentional about incorporating large swaths of exposition and it presents a meaningful contribution to your work, then info-dumping might be a risk worth taking. If the decision comes down to an inability to deal with description and backstory in other ways then consider reaching out to an editor or writing group instead. 

What are some techniques you’ve used to avoid info-dumping in your story? Let us know in the comments!

Bibliography:

1. Brotzel, Dan. “Get On With It! How To Avoid Info Dumps in Your Fiction.” Medium article, February 12, 2020.

2. Finley, Jeff. “Hobbit House.” Unsplash photo, February 28, 2018.

3. Plenio, Johannes. “Forest Light.” Unsplash photo, February 13, 2018.

4. Miller, Kevin.“How to Avoid the Dreaded Infodump.” Book Editing Associates article. April 14, 2014.

5. Gililand, Stein Egil. “Beautiful Green Northern Lights in the Sky.” Pexels photo, (Thumnail photo) January 7, 2014.

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—Payton

Freytag’s Pyramid from Serious Daring by Lisa Roney. Photo by Payton Hayes.

Hi readers and writerly friends!

This week in Freelancing, we’re continuing the Book Writing 101 series with the 3rd part of the series, How to Achieve A Good Story Pacing. If you’re looking for the rest of the series, it will be linked at the end of the blog post!

What is story pacing?

In literature, pace, or pacing is the speed at which a story is told —not necessarily the speed at which the story takes place. The pace is determined by the length of the scenes, how fast the action moves, and how quickly the reader is provided with information.

Story pacing is the momentum of the story and it’s what keeps readers turning pages

Pacing is an element of storytelling that seems to trip up many new writers. It can be hard to pin down. What is a good pacing for a story? Well, to get a better idea of good story pacing, we have to look at bad story pacing first.

Pacing is also tension. It’s how you build out the rising and falling action of your scenes. When I reference “action” in this blog post, rising and falling action is what I am talking about. This may be literal action scenes, conflict, events, plot points and pinch points, and other peaks and valleys of plot.

If you read my blog post about where to start your novel, then you might remember this next bit. That post (linked at the end of this blog post) is specifically for starting a book, but it serves as a great reminder for starting/ending you scenes and chapters as well.

Pacing is also how you enter and leave scenes and chapters. It’s how you open a scene and keep the momentum all the way through to the “turning point” of that scene or chapter. It’s how you close that scene/chapter and lead into the next one. Think about the “enter late, leave early” rule when trying to achieve goo pacing within your story, and how events in your story drive the plot forward.

Bad story pacing

This usually occurs when a story is told at a pace or speed that is either just too fast or too slow for the plot and the events that happen within the story. Story pacing that is just too fast almost gives the reader narrative whiplash in that, everything is being presented so quickly that the reader just can’t seem to keep up and is lost in confusion. Story pacing that is just to slow usually ends up boring the reader and making it hard for him or her to stay motivated to finish the book.

Story pacing really has more to do with the amount of information being presented and the intervals at which it is being presented. Books that have too-fast story pacing often just bombard the reader with information faster than they can process it. For example, a thriller writer may leave things out of the story in an attempt to build intrigue but as the plot progresses, the reader will be come increasingly more confused. In fantasy, too-fast pacing usually arises when the writer drops in a ton of names in rapid succession without really giving the readers time to orient themselves.

However, on the flip side, too-slow pacing can arise in fantasy in much the same way as well. Taking entirely way too long to establish backstory or info-dumping is a great way to slow the story down and bore the reader. And truthfully, this isn’t unique to fantasy; this issue can manifest itself this way in all genres.

Pacing that is too fast: Too much information is presented too often.

Pacing that is too slow: Not enough action is presented often enough.

I know, it looks like I said the same thing twice. But the truth is, story pacing is all about balance. There is a very delicate balance between action and information that even seasoned writers struggle to master.

Identifying pacing issues with word count

This might only be useful if for writers who have critique groups, agents, or editors but essentially, you can identify bad pacing by looking at the word count of a novel. If your editor says “the word count is too low for your genre” then they’re essentially saying, your pacing is too fast, and you’ve not spent enough time building out the story and included too much action. If your editor says “the word count is too high for your genre” then they’re saying your pacing is too slow, and you’ve spent too much time building out the story and not including enough action.

Sentence structure can make or break pacing

Long, drawn-out, convoluted sentences, word paragraphs, big, pretentions words, and overly descriptive purple pose will absolutely kill your pacing. Think about these things and keep in mind that if it doesn’t add to the writing style, voice, tone or drive the plot, then you don’t need it. Characterization should be dropped in here and there, and not done in page-long descriptions with wordy backstory. Big words and extensive vocabulary should only be used if it makes sense for the voice and tone of the story, and not just for the sake of making your writing “sound smart” or upping your letter count.

This doesn’t mean that shorter and more direct sentences are key either. Like I said, it’s all about balance. The secret to achieve this balance and good story pacing is varied sentence structure. Look at the sentences below.

Sarah wanted to read a book. She got up out of her chair and grabbed a book off of her shelf and sat back down. She opened the book and began reading.

Sarah yawned, sleepily remembering it was reading time and stretched as she rose out of her chair. She slowly ambled over to her expansive bookshelf, not sure what to read next, now that she’d finished her last novel the day before. She lifted a heavy blue book with an ornate cover and carried it back to her chair where she cuddled up and began reading.

The first series of sentences is very stale and boring, and it presents the action too quickly by simply telling the reader what is happening. However, the second series of sentences is entirely too colorful and takes too long to get the info across to the reader. Look at the series of sentences below.

Sarah yawned and looked out the window, realizing the sun was setting and it was reading time. She rose out of her chair and moved to the large, oak bookshelf, filled to the brim with hardcovers and paperback in every color. Thumbing through the first few pages of several books, she found one that had intricate illustrations for ever chapter and decided that would be her next read. Sarah settled back into her cozy reading chair and opened the hefty fantasy tome, eager to begin her next adventure.

In the third paragraph, you can clearly see how varied sentence structure makes the scene more interesting. This is the key to achieving balance between action and narrative and achieving good story pacing. Mastering this writing technique will help you keep this delicate balance no matter what genre you write in because sentence structure is part of every kind of writing. I even use it in my blog post writing.

In addition to this, consider what the purpose is of your chapter or scene and if it isn’t providing the reader with key information, moving the plot forward, or making space for characterization, then perhaps you don’t need it. Scenes that serve no real purpose for the story should be cut from the manuscript because they only drag out the story and slow the pacing. Typically, all scenes should be meeting these three criteria and it’s certainly all about balancing out the time each one takes to achieve their individual purpose.

Story structure can help you with pacing

Much like sentence structure, story structure can be a great way to determine the pacing of your story and where you might be doing really well in terms of tension and pacing and where your story might be sagging a little. The 3-Act Story Structure is just one (popular) example.

I think a lot of writers have a hard time with pacing because many of us grew up learning about the 5 elements of plot with a very set-in-stone triangular structure, but I like to think of plot as more of a bell curve. In the graphics below, you’ll see the 5 Elements of Plot versus the Plot Bell Curve (based on the 3 Act-Story Structure) and how pacing looks with each of these story structuring methods.

The issue with the Elements of Plot is that this structure allows entirely too much time to pass between major plot points. This is where many writers’ issues with the “sagging middle” originate from. Look at the bell curve, where tension is kept evenly from plot point to plot point. Instead of a terribly slow and steady incline, the rising action builds tension right from the inciting incident and falling action slows tension from the midpoint to the confrontation.

So, to recap:

• Story pacing is the momentum of the story and it’s what keeps readers turning pages.

• It’s how you build out the rising and falling action of your scenes.

• Story pacing is all about balance. There is a very delicate balance between action and information

• Varied sentence structure makes the story more interesting

• Scenes that serve no real purpose for the story should be removed

• Try using the plot bell curve instead of the elements of plot to see how it affects your story’s pacing

And that’s it for my blog post on how to achieve good story pacing. I hope this post helped you and if it did, make sure to comment below and check out the related topics for more Book Writing 101 posts!

Related topics:

• Book Writing 101: How To Write A Book (Basics)

• Book Writing 101: Coming Up With Book Ideas And What To Do With Them

• Book Writing 101: Starting Your Book In The Right Place

• Book Writing 101 - How To Chose The Right POV For Your Novel

• Book Writing 101: How To Name Your Book Characters

• Book Writing 101: Everything You Need To Know About Dialogue

• Book Writing 101: How to Develop and Write Compelling, Consistent Characters

• Story Binder Printables (Includes Character Sheets, Timelines, World-Building Worksheets and More!)

• Payton’s Picks —40+ of my favorite helpful books on writing and editing.

• 25 Strangely Useful Websites To Use For Research and Novel Ideas

See all posts in Freelancing. See all posts in Book Writing 101.

—Payton